Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Chaat

You know about the Chaat?
Maybe you don't. If you do, I think a recall is in order. The Chaat stands for Chutiyaapa Aahat.
Remember, it was the Second of September. Eight days later, it ended. The Indias were suddenly invaded by chutiyas. No one knew where they came from, or why, or what they wanted.
The CBI (Chutiya Brigade of India) policed the cities in the nights and wilder, unrestrained chutiyas roamed the suburbs and wildlands, looking for stray humans of which there were less and less.
The CP (Chutiya Parliament) High Court commanded that all those left "unchutiya"-ed be infected immediately so that their dream of One World would be realized. All the leftist and rightist wings together, guerillas with gorillas, revolutionaries with rotationaries. One world, "Peace Through Stupidity" was their slogan.
Although some of them were so empowered, the free-thinking chutiyas realized that the last thing they wanted was a free India.Or a free World for that matter. They conferred with their western associates the MIA (Masturbators In Accord), the MFB (Mother Fucker Brigade) and the Fucikaze of the East to conspire and bring down the three-day old empire that threatened to bring around World Peace. They realized that to destroy this horrendous nightmare of One World Order, they would have to exterminate their species. And with no ado, they (being chutiyas after all) pulled the plug on the entire operation. All records were erased. All memories destroyed.
No one remembered the eight-day old empire; everyone woke in their beds unable to account for an 8-day lapse in memory.
Except for one. A boy born eight days after on September 10th. He remembered in his subconscious. He never understood those memories, and would one day put them to paper. Until the CBI was ready to return to the world.
He was a true chutiya, to carry on their legacy.

Twenty years later, he stood on a cliff, remembering.
And what did he do?
He walked right up to the stars, and said to the watchers of the Chutiyas.
What did he say?
"Maa chuda, chutiye." And walked away, the last free Chutiya. 

Friday, August 6, 2010

The unnamed poem

A little piece I composed during the drearily dull afternoons of yore. Enjoy.

There was a castle, upon a mighty hill,
'Twas tailored to fit any villain's bill.

Perfectly suited for a her's demise-
Its lords wore the devil's disguise.

No bulwark by human hand
Could stand so against every band

And this castle upon the Hill
Did so many hopes kill.

One hero, he thought otherwise;
Oh treachery! The villain's cries

Echoed son and fast and strong,
Yet this order did seem wrong-

For the castle was still unbroken;
And now by a master, newly unspoken.

This hero sought only the villain's defeat,
And not to the Castle beat

With armies and engines of siege; Nay.
Instead stole he inside under a bale of hay.

The Trojan Horse, it work'd wonder;
And in the face of certain blunder

What villain could not fail?
And be granted death without bail.

Now the castle, foreboding, dark;
Without a lord seemed verily stark.

The Hero took it for his own
And mayhap seeds of redemption sown?

For the Castle was immortal in Time
And far too evil for this poet to rhyme.

Corrupt 'twas, and corrupt 'tis,
Young hero, give that conquest a miss.